Today I got lost in the woods. I was feeling quite lonesome when I woke up this morning, but after walking to Aphex Twin’s “Selected Ambient Works,” and taking some time to reflect, I felt that fleeting sense of the sublime come back and my loneliness turned to solace.
I was calm.
I began to let my mind wander into the creases of the rocks, and started to talk out loud to myself. Feeling a bit crazy, I looked around to find that I was safe to be in my own skin and that the negative stigma of talking out loud was totally unreasonable. Thoughts get stuck in one’s head the same way a word gets caught on the tip of the tongue.
So I continued to talk out loud to myself, and take pictures, and record samples of flowing water, and birds, and leaves rustling in the wind until my fingers started turning numb and I walked the 3 km back to Adam and Katy’s apartment with a mind heavy with thoughts and motives. I visualized my future, as a wise friend told me to do when I was feeling uneasy about my direction in life, and although hazy, came to some important conclusions.